Inexplicably Missing

I was talking to a good friend the other day about something I am doing. It helps me cope but I am honestly not even trying to do this. The thing I am doing is.. I am blocking out the idea that it would be nice, like... Really, really nice, to have a child. To feel that kind of love. To see it reflected back. THAT kind of love. That special, special experience.  NOPE! Not allowing myself to go there. Even writing this, I'm intellectualising the idea and feel nothing. My friend said that it's great that I do that. How helpful.  I'd have to say, I agree. But I also find it a bit odd to be cut off from my own feelings that way... And on the same note...  Just before writing this I scrolled through facebook/instagram seeing everyone's doting baby pics. You know, that super cute "Baby-cracking-massive-smile-right-at-mum" kind of post. I strongly felt the urge to post something somewhere "Hey, just letting all you baby-spamming people out there be aw

We are about to do something which is a  bit exciting. We are travelling away to Europe for a few weeks. We keep putting things like this on hold. Getting all serious and trying trying trying... We have to live and be spontaneous I think. So bye bye money-sucking IVF that has virtually 0% guarantee of satisfaction . Off we head to money-sucking activities that will be nearly 100% guarantee of satisfaction. That's us in September.