This Monday is the day after Mother's day. I didn't particularly think about mother's day a great deal yesterday. But I think at a subconscious level it must have been churning away as I have had a big emotional crash last night and today... and then today I suddenly find myself thinking "what if we did another round of IVF..." We have a lot going on! This coming weekend, Facco and I are moving out of our house in the suburbs up to a house in the mountaintops, it's about an hour drive out from the city centre & 650m above sea level. It's absolutely beautiful up there in a rainforest-y setting, with extremely cute Pademelon wallabies potentially visiting our yard... We will still be commuting to our same jobs so not all that much will change realistically, just a nice new house with a longer commute. Over the weekend though, we started to do more packing up, and as we dis-assembled our furniture and took art off the walls, it felt as though we ar
I believe that in creating a family there is some innate desire, whether it is conscious or not, to both heal some of the wounds of our family of origin experiences and also to re-enact the beautiful parts. I think each generation tries to do something better and more for their offspring.. whether it be providing a different parenting style, a different emotional climate, different material things, activities, experiences.. I believe that people always hope what they provide will be an improvement on their own childhood. As I grieve about my family that won't be, I find myself often reflecting on my own upbringing and family relationships, and looking as well at the present messy mix of closeness and distance, affection and frustration, within my own family as adults today. Thinking of the limitations of my family... makes me sad. Maybe more sad that I have no chance to create my own "better" version... But I wonder how much of these thoughts of the past would have co