Skip to main content

rebelling

Okay so last night, trying to get that balance of Sunday evening --- relaxation for the end of weekend but accepting a week of work ahead...
I decided to:
1) eat cheese. Not just any cheese. Ridiculously good cheese.... époisses ... made by monks in burgundy. It's funky and it's a SOFT centred cheese.
2) drink wine. Not much. Certainly not "getting drunk" or anything near it. Just a small glass... ok maybe 2 small glasses. Mind you it was a DAMN good pinot noir from Tasmania. And it was SO SO good with the cheese and bread.
I feel like some people would not dare take the risk of those things, especially after how much effort and expense I've put in to all this getting pregnant process.
But you know what, I'm ok with it. I think it is just my insistence on staying "normal" during this extremely weird process and avoiding "Guilting myself out" --- (which--- I am guilty of...) But then I'm also wondering, am I actually just being a rebellious little minx? Or is it me kind of giving up? I don't know.
My doctor did say it was ok to drink during the process. I mean, seriously there's got a be a few decent French people out there who grew from "cheese-fed-and-small-amounts-of-wine-fed" embryonic forms. Right? (ok, Perhaps not of IVF/ICSI origin... ??? )

Anyway apart from getting that admission off my chest,  it's now the awkward week... I'm now officially "late" to get my period. But that could be due to the meds. Yes. That could definitely be due to the many, many meds...
And I feel crampy menstrual feelings, so that could be the period... but that could be implantation? could it? 
So there's a week of this waiting... until the pregnancy blood test. It's kind of awkward.
Labels:

Comments

  1. Unknown29 May 2018 at 07:03

    The waiting is the hardest part. Hoping right alongside you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mali30 May 2018 at 23:00

    Good cheese and wine is curative for the soul. I hope it helps the waiting.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

the stories that are out there

It seems to me that the happy-ending story that is so often "out there" about infertility is this: "Here is a couple who struggled and struggled to have kids, and then, finally, they had a baby. The end"... I think something about this story feels like a lack of honouring of the losses felt along the way for infertile couples. I know life goes on, and I know it does no one any good at all to get stuck in grief or pain. But surely there is some kind of transition for people to adjust from infertility to parenthood? Maybe there is a certain loss that is always felt? Transitioning to parenthood seems like it would be a hard process following infertility battles, and different somehow from a "normal fertility" transition to parenthood which I am sure would be hard enough (and I think is spoken about a lot). Something about the "...and then they had a baby" part of the story seems a bit dismissive about the infertility dramas, or gives a message of-
17 comments
Read more

belonging or be longing somewhere

I heard a great radio segment the other day on the importance of belonging.  Belonging is a pretty core and pretty basic human need I would say, and we certainly don't feel great, in fact we probably do things like turn to drugs and alcohol or other addictions or avoidant behaviours, when we don't have a strong sense of belonging somewhere in the world. These notions of belonging got me thinking about the infertility/trying to conceive journey. I guess getting online and reading and writing a blog has been all about gaining a better sense of belonging in this process. But even in this lovely online world there is a sad kind of aspect to it that... some people move on to the world of having kids and it doesn't feel like I "Belong" with them in the same sense. Some move on to have no kids, but as I am still trying to have kids, in a sense, don't "belong" there either. I can perhaps feel that I belong wholeheartedly with other people in my position, bu
13 comments
Read more

a few thoughts on where am I at

I'm getting over it. We have recently had the results of our 7th IVF round... which are... negative. sigh. I'm not surprised of course. It's starting to feel a bit ridiculous. Plan is to meet with a third doctor, who we have been waiting to see for months, to see what light he would shed. The thing I'm frustrated about is that IVF... it's not treating the problem at all, as far as I can see. I'm not a doctor but it seems to me that there's something up with the fact that our embryos are not hardy. IVF is just trying to maximise numbers, not helping to fix whatever is causing the problem with the embryos. But the thing is that the medical professionals don't actually know what the problem is for us... so IVF is all they've got to offer. I'm feeling a bit silly to continue with it, because who knows how long it could go on for, and who knows if for us, with whatever our problem is, whether it even could work. Well a few questions for the new do
6 comments
Read more