Inexplicably Missing

It seems rather fitting that this week, Involuntary Childlessness Week, is the week that we are counting down our trip to Europe. We leave on Friday! Yes I think the two: infertility and spontaneous travel, are a bit linked. You know, our fertility dr had asked us where we were going and he offered to give us some contacts for embryo and egg donation clinics in Europe to check out while we were there. But we were like... No. no... this is not going to be that kind of trip. But I am aware that I am still on that overall journey too. I just need a scenic diversion.

I should have taken a photo of the size of this. A whole lot of fridge space has been taken up with packets and packets of hormones for IVF. So every time I'm getting stuff ready for dinner, searching for a snack, or getting a cold bottle of water the bloody IVF reality of life is... just... there... nagging... annoying...  and it takes up space... Space that could otherwise be used for DELICIOUS LIFE GIVING FOOD. So today I had enough. I got my lovely little chiller bags (like the drugs themselves, these cooler bags are in over-supply due to the number of pharmacy visits I've had) and freezer packs (also, in over-supply) and carted the drugs back to my IVF clinic. The nurse had a slightly pitiful look on her face as I handed them over. I didn't engage in conversation as I only had a 10 minute parking space that I had to rush out to, but I can tell you that I definitely thought in my head "... no need to feel worried about me lovely nurse, this time next week...

I'm going to refer to my partner as "facco" here. It is a kind of cheeky phrase we came up with as a way of referring to him being my de facto partner. It's my replacement word for "hubby", a word oft used by the correctly married. Well i think for microblog Monday I will give a little run down of father's day yesterday... I let facco know I'm proud of him for being a good dad to our dog and cats... And we shed some tears about our failed embryos... And we shed more tears...because facco's dad is these days riddled with dementia and is soon to go into a nursing home as he's recently become unsafe to manage for facco's mum... And... I saw my dad, and my perpetual- bachelor brother who has recently become a dad to a cat, and my other brother who is conventionally married with kids (although unconventionally living on an island, that we visited) ... And well,  i guess we all enjoyed and celebrated their dad-i-ness. And I was super hap...