I'm going to refer to my partner as "facco" here. It is a kind of cheeky phrase we came up with as a way of referring to him being my de facto partner. It's my replacement word for "hubby", a word oft used by the correctly married.
Well i think for microblog Monday I will give a little run down of father's day yesterday...
I let facco know I'm proud of him for being a good dad to our dog and cats...
And we shed some tears about our failed embryos...
And we shed more tears...because facco's dad is these days riddled with dementia and is soon to go into a nursing home as he's recently become unsafe to manage for facco's mum...
And... I saw my dad, and my perpetual- bachelor brother who has recently become a dad to a cat, and my other brother who is conventionally married with kids (although unconventionally living on an island, that we visited) ...
And well, i guess we all enjoyed and celebrated their dad-i-ness.
And I was super happy to soak up some quality time with my nephew and niece... (Who I might quietly add have named me their "best aunty")
And... I was also quite stoked not to get food poisoned by the oysters (which were bloody awful).
It seems to me that the happy-ending story that is so often "out there" about infertility is this: "Here is a couple who struggled and struggled to have kids, and then, finally, they had a baby. The end"... I think something about this story feels like a lack of honouring of the losses felt along the way for infertile couples. I know life goes on, and I know it does no one any good at all to get stuck in grief or pain. But surely there is some kind of transition for people to adjust from infertility to parenthood? Maybe there is a certain loss that is always felt? Transitioning to parenthood seems like it would be a hard process following infertility battles, and different somehow from a "normal fertility" transition to parenthood which I am sure would be hard enough (and I think is spoken about a lot). Something about the "...and then they had a baby" part of the story seems a bit dismissive about the infertility dramas, or gives a message of-...
<3 Sounds like you had a good time, even if not all was what you would have wanted.
ReplyDeleteI never realized Australia has a different father's day...than other parts of the world. I know Finland and the US are different, but never thought about other countries possibly being yet another date.
Thanks Heather! it was a pretty good day! Although another thing I didn't mention but got me furious was that my brother and his wife left us waiting at a cafe (that was closed) for 2 hours before we had lunch!
DeleteHi Heather! thanks for your comment... yes, it really is is a bit odd that the dates are different around the globe!
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