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a few thoughts on where am I at

I'm getting over it.
We have recently had the results of our 7th IVF round... which are... negative. sigh. I'm not surprised of course.
It's starting to feel a bit ridiculous.
Plan is to meet with a third doctor, who we have been waiting to see for months, to see what light he would shed.
The thing I'm frustrated about is that IVF... it's not treating the problem at all, as far as I can see. I'm not a doctor but it seems to me that there's something up with the fact that our embryos are not hardy. IVF is just trying to maximise numbers, not helping to fix whatever is causing the problem with the embryos. But the thing is that the medical professionals don't actually know what the problem is for us... so IVF is all they've got to offer. I'm feeling a bit silly to continue with it, because who knows how long it could go on for, and who knows if for us, with whatever our problem is, whether it even could work. Well a few questions for the new doctor anyway.
I suspect the idea of donors is going to come up. Neither of us know how we feel about that, and neither of us have been trying too hard to work out how we feel about it... because overall, with the fertility side of our life, we're just exhausted, frustrated and confused...


  1. I'm so sorry. Are there other things they can check for? Do you have a sense of whether it's an embryo issue or uterine one?

    1. Hi countinpinklines. I'm not sure about uterine issues, I will ask... though I know they have had a few looks at it with laparoscopy, and my tubes are all good, and I don't have any endometriosis... Whereas, the lab reports about the embryos are generally a bit miserable - lots of fragmentation, strange growth... to the point that the lab had to do a literature review to find out more about one of our embryos...

  2. It really does become a gamble, doesn't it? If the drs don't know, they can only offer solutions that might give better odds. I'm so sorry you're going through this, and wish you the best.
    And if the donor issue comes up, then you can think about/investigate it then. We can only ever deal with what's in front of us, with the knowledge we have at the time, and make decisions on that basis.

    1. Yes, gamble is definitely the right word! The donor stuff has been there in the back of our mind and we have had a few conversations. I agree that we will go in to more depth when/if needed. Thanks for your reply!

  3. I'm so sorry. I found myself thinking the same thing as I appear to be going through another loss: it's a numbers game. Science doesn't yet have an answer to 'why' that can help me, so instead I play the odds hoping that eventually they'll work in my favor. You have my sympathy, my empathy, and my deep hope that you'll find better odds through treatment, luck, science, or whatever!

    1. Yes, it's a constant round of lotteries. I hope we can find it too but I guess the hope is dwindling for me and my patience with IVF certainly wearing thin... I feel for you too, I hope for you that you can get there!


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