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travel plans and serious blocking

I was talking to a good friend the other day about something I am doing. It helps me cope but I am honestly not even trying to do this. The thing I am doing is.. I am blocking out the idea that it would be nice, like... Really, really nice, to have a child. To feel that kind of love. To see it reflected back. THAT kind of love. That special, special experience. 
Not allowing myself to go there.
Even writing this, I'm intellectualising the idea and feel nothing.
My friend said that it's great that I do that. How helpful. 
I'd have to say, I agree. But I also find it a bit odd to be cut off from my own feelings that way...
And on the same note...  Just before writing this I scrolled through facebook/instagram seeing everyone's doting baby pics. You know, that super cute "Baby-cracking-massive-smile-right-at-mum" kind of post. I strongly felt the urge to post something somewhere "Hey, just letting all you baby-spamming people out there be aware that I am now blocking you. It's not personal. I'm just infertile and it sucks to see that". Ha. That would be kind of funny, or pointed... or something. I figured I could share it here, since I'm not going to actually post something like that on FB...

SO anyway... moving on, let me tell you my travel plans... it is a bit of a hectic schedule for only 3 weeks but goes like this:
We just finished booking our accommodation... still need to do some internal flights.
I can't wait till all the food. 
...and wine.
Does anyone have any recommendations? Love to hear them!


  1. I did that too - the blocking out the thoughts about what it would feel like to have a child, to hold them, etc etc. It was the most important thing that helped me heal. I call it "reprogramming my brain." I wrote a little about it here -

    Your trip sounds amazing! Though yes, a lot of travelling for just three weeks. You'll come home and need a holiday to recover! Here are some of my hints, which might be obvious, so if so, I apologise.

    Make sure you've booked tickets and times for the Alhambra. (We hadn't, and had to get in the queue for tickets at about 7 am! Though it was ten years ago.) If you can, try to go early in the morning, as soon as it opens. We were the first group in, and that meant that we were the first to walk into some of the most exquisite rooms - they were totally empty, with an amazing atmosphere. Later, they get crowded and busy, and aren't the same at all. Eat lots of tapas in Granada too! Tapas and churros in Seville - and obviously the Alcazar there.

    Paris - All the usual favourites are worth visiting of course. The La Samaritaine Department Store has free access to their rooftop, where you get great views across Paris. And on a second or third visit to Paris, we really enjoyed the modern sculptures in the La Defense area. Take the metro to the Gare La Defense then walk down to the Esplanade stop. Though walking anywhere in Paris is fun.

    London food - do an afternoon tea at one of the fancy hotels, though you do have to book in advance. Or, alternatively, just go to one of the department stores, and have one there, at half the price. You can get everything in London of course, so eat what you crave! Every time we go to London we discover something new, but always like going back to the Thames, walking around the Tower or Westminster Abbey too. So much to do there, it depends on your intersts. Last time we were taking it easy, and had a lovely walk along the canals behind Paddington Station.

    When it comes to travel planning - it's hard to shut me up, but I'll stop now!

    1. Thank you Mali!
      Thankfully my partner had the good idea to book the Alhambra tickets. I can't wait to see it! I have watched some docos about it recently and it just looks incredible.
      Tapas are definitely on the agenda!
      In Paris I'm looking forward to wandering... seeing some impressionist art... and... eating!
      Not sure we'll do many sights in London, as the plan is to hang out with some friends we rarely get to see - who live an hour outside of London. But we're cool with that!


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