I was talking to a good friend the other day about something I am doing. It helps me cope but I am honestly not even trying to do this. The thing I am doing is.. I am blocking out the idea that it would be nice, like... Really, really nice, to have a child. To feel that kind of love. To see it reflected back. THAT kind of love. That special, special experience.
Not allowing myself to go there.
Even writing this, I'm intellectualising the idea and feel nothing.
My friend said that it's great that I do that. How helpful.
I'd have to say, I agree. But I also find it a bit odd to be cut off from my own feelings that way...
And on the same note... Just before writing this I scrolled through facebook/instagram seeing everyone's doting baby pics. You know, that super cute "Baby-cracking-massive-smile-right-at-mum" kind of post. I strongly felt the urge to post something somewhere "Hey, just letting all you baby-spamming people out there be aware that I am now blocking you. It's not personal. I'm just infertile and it sucks to see that". Ha. That would be kind of funny, or pointed... or something. I figured I could share it here, since I'm not going to actually post something like that on FB...
SO anyway... moving on, let me tell you my travel plans... it is a bit of a hectic schedule for only 3 weeks but goes like this:
We just finished booking our accommodation... still need to do some internal flights.
I can't wait till all the food.
ALL THE FOOD.
Does anyone have any recommendations? Love to hear them!