I called my IVF clinic today to let them know it's day 1 of my period. I've started this long-down reg protocol over the last week or so, taking some Decapeptyl injections and a cocktail of some other stuff.
So I had to call up to arrange a day 6 scan.
Anyway, bit of context, on any Day 1 of my period I am typically a frazzled woman. In the last few days I cut a weekend holiday short because of realising I forgot to pay a tax bill and tax form that was due, came home early to organise the paperwork and then realised the paperwork was not actually due, I still had a few more days so didn't really have to cut the holiday short... I also had been tasked with packing for the holiday and forgot to pack any teeshirts... and my partner's swimwear (for the beach). So my brain feels somewhat fried.
Then the fried brain effect has just been upped a bit.
Because when I called the clinic today, the nurse there let me know that my doctor (the guy we waited 9 months to get in to see, and who is "the guy" to see) is probably not going to be able to see me through this cycle. He's going to get some kind of urgent surgery on his foot and has been in a world of pain. Things were up in the air, they were talking about booking me in to see someone else. I took some appointment with some other doctor but realised I don't know I can do it.
I'm really unsure what to do.
I had it in my head - this is my last round.
This is the last doctor I see.
I felt good about him.
I am not sure I want to readjust to working with another doctor.
my headspace is frazzled ++
I think I'm going to have to cancel. I'll just wait till he's "back on his feet".
So it's was a good counterpoint for me reading the microblog Monday post - this frazzled state tells me it's time for me to get into a mindfulness practice