Ok so I cried while watching a nature documentary the other day. A little maternal Birdy is incubating some eggs in her nest, and flies off to get food. While she's gone some other hungry bird comes along and smashes up the eggs to eat the yolks. Mumma bird comes back to a mess. She can tell it's not right but she just staunchly perches back on top of the smashed up eggs to keep incubating, because her drive is so strong.
I had to change the channel.
It's a reminder to myself that nature is completely indifferent.
And that it's only sad because of the meaning I put to it. And that is ok. There's a certain beauty to that sadness.
That..
And...
It just is what it is.
I heard a great radio segment the other day on the importance of belonging. Belonging is a pretty core and pretty basic human need I would say, and we certainly don't feel great, in fact we probably do things like turn to drugs and alcohol or other addictions or avoidant behaviours, when we don't have a strong sense of belonging somewhere in the world. These notions of belonging got me thinking about the infertility/trying to conceive journey. I guess getting online and reading and writing a blog has been all about gaining a better sense of belonging in this process. But even in this lovely online world there is a sad kind of aspect to it that... some people move on to the world of having kids and it doesn't feel like I "Belong" with them in the same sense. Some move on to have no kids, but as I am still trying to have kids, in a sense, don't "belong" there either. I can perhaps feel that I belong wholeheartedly with other people in my position, bu...
Nature is indeed completely indifferent. But for me, it is further evidence that an inability to conceive is no-one's fault, and in some ways I find that comforting. However, I feel for that poor Mumma bird.
ReplyDeletePoor mama bird. I suppose this is a reminder that we are not alone - all creatures can go through this. If mama bird can keep on going, I guess we can too.
ReplyDelete