Ok so I cried while watching a nature documentary the other day. A little maternal Birdy is incubating some eggs in her nest, and flies off to get food. While she's gone some other hungry bird comes along and smashes up the eggs to eat the yolks. Mumma bird comes back to a mess. She can tell it's not right but she just staunchly perches back on top of the smashed up eggs to keep incubating, because her drive is so strong.
I had to change the channel.
It's a reminder to myself that nature is completely indifferent.
And that it's only sad because of the meaning I put to it. And that is ok. There's a certain beauty to that sadness.
That..
And...
It just is what it is.
It seems to me that the happy-ending story that is so often "out there" about infertility is this: "Here is a couple who struggled and struggled to have kids, and then, finally, they had a baby. The end"... I think something about this story feels like a lack of honouring of the losses felt along the way for infertile couples. I know life goes on, and I know it does no one any good at all to get stuck in grief or pain. But surely there is some kind of transition for people to adjust from infertility to parenthood? Maybe there is a certain loss that is always felt? Transitioning to parenthood seems like it would be a hard process following infertility battles, and different somehow from a "normal fertility" transition to parenthood which I am sure would be hard enough (and I think is spoken about a lot). Something about the "...and then they had a baby" part of the story seems a bit dismissive about the infertility dramas, or gives a message of-...
Nature is indeed completely indifferent. But for me, it is further evidence that an inability to conceive is no-one's fault, and in some ways I find that comforting. However, I feel for that poor Mumma bird.
ReplyDeletePoor mama bird. I suppose this is a reminder that we are not alone - all creatures can go through this. If mama bird can keep on going, I guess we can too.
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