I promise I'm not stagnating. I just happen to be still. Hanging out. Watching. Waiting. Somewhat planning my next move. Somewhat not. The journey has been unexpectedly difficult and I need a breather. It's actually not bad doing this.. it's a bit like a movie-- one of those action packed ones where the heroes are on some kind of difficult quest and just when they are exhausted and starving and wounded and think they are going to die they find a safe (and maybe beautiful) place to rest and restore themselves before the next bit of their journey.
Sigh.
So many journey analogies to be had in this.
We will get there...
but not yet.
And not even sure where 'there' will be.
I heard a great radio segment the other day on the importance of belonging. Belonging is a pretty core and pretty basic human need I would say, and we certainly don't feel great, in fact we probably do things like turn to drugs and alcohol or other addictions or avoidant behaviours, when we don't have a strong sense of belonging somewhere in the world. These notions of belonging got me thinking about the infertility/trying to conceive journey. I guess getting online and reading and writing a blog has been all about gaining a better sense of belonging in this process. But even in this lovely online world there is a sad kind of aspect to it that... some people move on to the world of having kids and it doesn't feel like I "Belong" with them in the same sense. Some move on to have no kids, but as I am still trying to have kids, in a sense, don't "belong" there either. I can perhaps feel that I belong wholeheartedly with other people in my position, bu...
Having a breather is important self-care. But yes, wherever "there" is, you will get there. And it will be okay.
ReplyDeleteTaking a breather is so necessary in the midst of this difficulty, this life of in-betweens. I love your image of the (wounded, not dying) hero taking a rest in a beautiful, peaceful place before continuing on with the journey. Wherever it takes you, I wish you peace.
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