Skip to main content

Time for a rant

I am not really an angry person but this week I've been raging a bit.

After my first catheter experience I can say I was already a little on the unhappy side.

Then I got the somewhat good news - that this time we had 12 fertilised embryos. But I would not hear until day 5, Monday, what the plans were for freezing.

The cycle I did this time was supposed to be a "Freeze all" cycle. At the last minute I told the doctor I was a bit concerned to trust this since we have never had anything to freeze at all, so we changed the trigger injection to ovidrel incase we needed to do a fresh transfer.
Since egg collection,  I've been injecting myself with this horrible medication called Clexane which leaves bruises everywhere.
So we pencilled in a fresh transfer for Monday at 1:30pm, and I'm told "You will find out first thing Monday morning whether it's going ahead".
First thing Monday morning, no news.
I call the clinic.
Sorry, no one can talk to you about that now, they are busy with egg collections. Someone will call at around 11 or so to let you know.
Well I am at work until 12.30, and unable to answer phone calls in my work. So I left it in my partner's hands to deal with the clinic.
I get a text from my partner to say - none of the embryos are suitable for freezing, there have been no blastocysts, but some morulas that could be transferred.
So I go in to the clinic for this 1.30procedure.
I'm not sure if there was some lost in translation thing going on but they didn't seem to be ready for me.
I get there at 1pm, as I was told to, and I drink lots of water because you need to have a full bladder.
And then just end up waiting there.
The waiting room fills up with other people who get seen before me. and even more irritating to me at this point is that a few of these people have children of their own already.
I am not one for getting irritated generally, but I really was getting cross.
I desperately needed to pee....
 I'm feeling a bit sensitive about peeing after the catheter incident.
And I'm on prednisone too. It's getting me tetchy.
Then the doctor comes out to get another patient and says "I have a riddle for you, there's 30 cows and 28 chickens, how many are left?" ... the hilarious answer being 10, ---- (30 cows, and 20 ate chickens).  I don't know, it's cute or whatever?  I just don't have time for this.
And by the way, the waiting room was freezing, the air-conditioning pumped high.
Finally, I get in for the embryo transfer procedure (at 2.30pm) so I got an extra hour of sitting there in the cold with a full bladder, (waiting for my parking permit to run out)... and in the procedure room I find out at this point... of course, with my pants already down (oh and they didn't have a sheet to cover me up, one of the scientists did find a pillow slip??) , that maybe one of the embryos could have been frozen after all. But it's all prepared to go with assisted hatching just performed and embryo glue, so I don't think this is an option.
The thing is my body feels like it's been through a wringer and I don't see this fresh transfer working out... it was a plan B situation. I really would have preferred to freeze and wait.
Anyways, so I'm there getting ready and my doctor is a bit confused about what's going on and checking with me what kind of trigger medication I took and whether it was ok to be doing the transfer (since the original trigger medication that was prescribed would not have worked for fresh transfer).
I'm thinking - are you people on top of this at all?
The doctor then speaks away jovially to me and I make it clear that I'm not up for this style of bedside manner today, I said I'm feeling quite disappointed really. He makes light of it, "it aint over till the fat lady sings".
Later I think he tried to be a bit contrite about it... although even then he managed to irritate me with his arrogance when he said to my partner ... "You know, I have to get really good at picking up on people's emotions in this job, and I can tell you today that this woman is not happy and you need to take care of her"...
!!!!
oh his miraculous powers of perception!

Ok, rant done. Had to get that out of my system.

I'll continue to blacken up my belly with this clexane, and keep my cranky levels high on prednisone, for another 2 weeks...
and...
just
keep the fingers crossed.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sucking eggs

Old mate fertility specialist likes to use technical language whenever possible. Hence he refers to my oocyte retrieval as "sucking your eggs".  He's all class.

It really hasn't been a great round, and my heart is not really in it. While we retrieved 18 eggs and made 8 embryos, they all grew badly and were massively fragmented. Except for one, which was not so fragmented, but still not a blast at day 5. It is inside me now, along with the runner up. So we'll see how it goes though I'm not holding out much hope.

I'm not sure if it's really more me, and getting too "serious" about all this.. but I have to say I'm tired of the attitude at my clinic. I don't think I will go back there. It's kind of like the Jetstar airline of fertility clinics, where the staff have a jovial "laid back" attitude to things like safety and professionalism. I would imagine that working in a fertility clinic you might naturally develop a lighter…

Bumper stickers for the infertile

Maybe it's because we're getting a new car soon, but I keep thinking of bumper stickers appropriate for people like me who are enjoying their struggle with infertility...
1) The bumper sticker answer to the pram parking situation... So whenever I am having a hard time trying to find a park at the shops, and there are vacant pram parks, I wish so much that I had a bumper sticker to say something along to the lines of: "After xxxx$$$ of failed IVF treatment I have earned my right to use pram parking"
2) My answer to the "My family" cute little stick figure stickers... Maybe they should have a new type of sticker that denotes the lab-cultured embryos... Although if I went this option, I think I would have a pretty full back window... with close to 70 embryos... 
3) The "baby on board" sticker --- simple response... "No baby on board" 
Well maybe not... but it's one possible route for being less invisible...

frazzled

I called my IVF clinic today to let them know it's day 1 of my period. I've started this long-down reg protocol over the last week or so, taking some Decapeptyl injections and a cocktail of some other stuff. So I had to call up to arrange a day 6 scan.  Anyway, bit of context, on any Day 1 of my period I am typically a frazzled woman. In the last few days I cut a weekend holiday short because of realising I forgot to pay a tax bill and tax form that was due, came home early to organise the paperwork and then realised the paperwork was not actually due, I still had a few more days so didn't really have to cut the holiday short...  I also had been tasked with packing for the holiday and forgot to pack any teeshirts... and my partner's swimwear (for the beach). So my brain feels somewhat fried. Then the fried brain effect has just been upped a bit. Because when I called the clinic today, the nurse there let me know that my doctor (the guy we waited 9 months to get in to s…